The other night I moved into my mom’s house. Now I have a queen size waterbed, real food, and cable tv in my bedroom. Of course, that’s the majority of what I have at the moment. Most of my stuff, including the majority of my clothes, are still at my dads. I’m writing this on a gateway computer that is currently running window’s millennium edition. So, in short, it’s a piece of crap that doesn’t really even have the capability to run aim. Also, I no longer have a house phone and my cellphone is malfunctioning. More than half of the calls I try to make get cancelled with the only explanation being “Network Busy.” I’m guessing that’s also why I am missing some of the calls that I should be getting. So I’m going to apologize ahead of time about any difficulty reaching me.

Current Mood: lazy
Current Music: The Controls + The Paper Chase

Today I got bored enough to weed the garden.
And when I was done I found the unopened container of ice cream that I hid in the freezer last month. ^^

Current Mood: energetic
Current Music: The Paper Chase - Said The Spider to the Fly

Sometimes in life I'm overly insecure and I know that. Of course, just because I know it doesn't mean I can control it. And its driving me crazy. My dad really isn't helping the matter any either. I may as well not exist as far as he's concerned and I know it.

But at least my bank account is no longer in the negative numbers. *thumbs up*

Current Mood: anxious

"I want the kitchen spotless. And when I say spotless I mean spotless. Once it's spotless, I'll get food. You have choices here."






Another priceless quote.

Current Mood: cranky
Current Music: The Decemberists - Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect

So my dad got back from NY and left the next day to stay with his girlfriend Mary. He left us with a half pint of milk, a quarter watermelon, a box of cereal, a bunch of cans of diet soda, some french toast, the endless supply of condiments, and $20. How is this supposed to last us five days? Also, he now refuses to give me or any of my friends rides anywhere. He won't even drive me to work. When he left he wrote a sign saying "Do not touch or move anything in this room. - Dad" and taped it on to his bedroom door. He also put a sign on his air conditioner saying "Don't Move." Somehow I find this horribly insulting. I mean really, the only time I've ever touched anything in his room was the portable air conditioner and air purifier when he was gone for over a week. I didn't touch ANYTHING else. This just makes me want to go all Trading Spaces on his room and completely redo it before he comes back. But I guess in short I really miss my dad. I don't like this new adult that I'm currently living with. Then again, how can you like someone who ignores your existence aside from complaining about how high maintinence you are?

Tomorrow I have my last shift at HyVee and it happens to be an 8 hour one.

Does anyone want to go rob a liquer store and move to another country with me? If we hurry we can be gone by morning.

Current Mood: drained
Current Music: The Blood Brothers - Love Rhymes With a Hideous Car Wreck

So yesterday I decided to see what we actually had left in this house to eat that wasn't so long expired that it created its own language.
- bread
- peanut butter
- jelly
- eggs
- a small amount of leftover pizza
We also have thirty something condiments but I think a lot of those are expired.

This is supposed to last through Monday since thats when my dad gets back from New York.

Current Mood: hungry
Current Music: The Dresden Dolls - Bad Habit

I'm tired of being insecure.

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Modest Mouse - Dramamine

My dad's girlfriend's dog, Gizmo, looks like an ewok. It's cute and it's so small it's portable. Odie seems to be a bit jealous of Gizmo but they do seem to like to play together so.. I think it's all good. I'd put a picture of it on here just to show you its ewok-ness but the camera is missing.

I want to run away but not by myself.
I want to lay in the grass without a care in the world.
I want to go out and have fun and never grow up.

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: The Cranberries - I Miss You When You're Gone

Earlier today was my graduation. I don't think I've had such mixed emotions in awhile. When they showed a video that Kathy made featuring clips of people from the past three years I felt rather sad. It's weird watching everyone and knowing that it's all just memories now. We're supposed to grow up. Go to college. Get a job. Become a productive member of society. The "best years of our lives" are done now. Does anyone else feel this is unfair? Because I for one do. I'm not ready to grow up. So, I think I'll be the stuborn person that I am and postpone it a bit. Maybe I'll find a way I can be a kid forever... who knows? I don't.

I'll miss so many people. Even people I wasn't friends with. It's sad.

But..
For the next few days I am completely without responsibility and I plan on taking advantage of it to the fullest.

<3
[Because I am just too cool now to spell out 'love']

Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Music: Modest Mouse - Float On

I'm scared that one day you'll realize how boring I really am.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Elliot Smith - Between the Bars